A surprising realization today...
I was taking a walk with a friend earlier and he was talking about his work, past and present. His expressed some uncertainty about what his future held for employment--just that he wasn't sure what he wanted to do next. So I pulled out the million dollar question, which I first learned from my sister, who was asked it by a college advisor: if you had a million dollars, what would you do with your life? (My sister's undergraduate advisor asked her this question probably 15 years ago; we might need to adjust "one million" for inflation purposes!1) The point is, if money were no object, what kind of work would you most like to do? In other words, what is your true passion, that you might be ignoring because of fear that it won't pay the bills? His response was writing a novel or two. (Sweet dream, btw, go do it!) The conversation got distracted, probably by a certain dog who was tagging along (she wanted to chase after ducks...), but a while later, after hearing about my work, past & present, he turned the question back to me.
I was momentarily speechless. I have thought of this question many times in the past, and always had a ready answer, but today, I was grasping at a void. My immediate reaction was so unexpected that I looked right past it: I'd do what I'm doing right now, nearly exactly. Whoa. I mean, this is big. This is seriously huge. I'm satisfied with my life right now! So satisfied that a million dollars wouldn't immediately make me jump ship at my job and otherwise drastically alter the course of my life. I love my classes. I'm optimistic about the direction I'm heading, career wise. My coworkers are 98% fantastic (really, that's an incredibly high percent). I know my current job isn't the job I want to have forever, but it fits into my life right now. And while that imaginary million dollars would certainly be welcomed, celebrated, and put to some use, it wouldn't make me change my life much. Granted, my life at the moment is far from static. I've got a number of dreams, short and long term that I'm working towards, but given that million, I'd keep moving forward as I am.
It seems a common theme at the end of my blog posts lately, but again, I am grateful. So grateful that the rebuilding of my life is going so well, and that I've found more satisfaction than I would have imagined possible.
It seems like gratefulness has become a continuous thread throughout your posts. Being grateful reminds us of what we have, not what we are missing.
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