Second time volunteering with GallopNYC. I’m
totally a fish out of water there! Horses, I get, but kids with
disabilities are totally foreign to me. I don't know any of their diagnoses, and I suppose it really doesn't matter. I talked with the volunteer coordinator about this, and it seems like putting a label on the kids might just limit my view of them or make me expect them to act a certain way and be capable of only certain things. And even from the last week to tonight, I could see that each kid was a little different. Some were more talkative, or less; some were more easily frustrated, or more focused or less calm. I suppose they're just like me in that sense: every day is different. The horses too. Popcorn seemed testy and edgy last night, but last week I didn't notice anything off about her. It's probably best to approach these kids, the horses, and myself, with an open mind--a beginner's mind! And just be open to the possibilities.
I think the older kids, the ones who seem to have more "severe" disabilities are the hardest for my heart to figure out. I've never had experience with kids who can't or don't talk. It breaks my heart a little, not to be able to communicate with them--well, in the way I'm most used to communicating, that is, verbally. I worry that I'm not treating them in the "right" way, or that I might be babying them in some way. Maybe they understand me more than I think? I try to keep them safe and encourage and praise them for whatever they can do. And I think about their parents, and about what I'd do if I ever had a
child with that kind of disability, and it just hurts. On the other
hand, the kids who have very limited communication, every last one of
them always seems really happy. They smile and laugh and clap their
hands, make happy sounding noises. I hope they are happy; it makes me happy. I often feel uncomfortable and slightly
off-balance, but in a really good way, in a way that stretches me and
will make me grow and evolve, I’m sure. I'm so grateful for this opportunity.
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